for those of you who know me well, you're aware of the fact that i love all creatures, great and small... and that there's one precious ball of fluff in particular who has been the nearest and dearest gift to my heart for the last almost-16 years... hanna (affectionately nicknamed hanna-banana... pun'kin, boo-kitty, milkface, pooh, whatzupbuttercup, monkey, my beautiful girl, bumble... and, when she's sharpening her teeth, hanna-ble) is joy to my heart each and every day. sticking with me through all the ups and downs that life brings... greeting me each morning at my pillow... primping at the mirror (she enjoys playing"dress up" when I get ready for work each day... feeling quite special when I sweep some "pretend blush" to her cheeks with my big powder brush!), waiting for me at the front door when i return home at the end of each day, always eager to tell me about her day. we came upon one another when she was only a couple of weeks old, sitting in a cage at a pet store, hoping to be adopted. i had just had my wisdom teeth pulled and was on my first trip out of the house, on an errand to pick up food for my boyfriend's cat. there at the front door of the pet store was hanna, her tiny tabby body adorned with an enormous tiara of ears too big for her head. her precious little self caught my eye and i asked to have her taken out of the cage so i could hold her... she fit in the palm of my hand... and began talking up a storm. she didn't have to say much to convince me to take her home that day. we bonded immediately. i noticed that she kept sneezing and thought perhaps she was having a reaction to my perfume. despite her sniffles, within minutes i was completing the necessary papers to adopt her and took her to the animal clinic in town to have her examined. the vet, whom i did not know, told me that the sneezing was due to her having feline flu and recommended that i have her put to sleep. i told him that that was not an option, and asked what could be done to treat her? this resulted in her being quarantined for six weeks in one of the bedrooms in the townhouse my boyfriend and i had recently purchased. it was necessary to keep her away from the other cat in the house to avoid spreading her ailment. i made her a nest out of a pile of blankets in the corner of the spare bedroom and hanna slept there under a heat lamp snuggled up in an array of stuffed animals... and when i returned home at the end of each day, i would lay down beside her for the night. i became the "mother cat" in her world from then on, and she would not accept anyone else the way she did me. as time went on, i learned that hanna had feline luekemia and a neurological disorder - epilepsy, which caused her to have seizures. despite her serious illnesses she has stayed strong through all of these years, never complaining... always appreciating the love she has been shown... and giving it in return, unconditionally. hanna and i have shared seven different dwellings over the years, not to mention sleeping in my volkswagon jetta when we parked across the street in an open dirt lot after the '94 california earthquake split my Stevenson Ranch townhouse in two and we were stranded from the rest of the world for two weeks! she is a rapid conversationalist, with different voices to match her changing mood. a somewhat opinionated gal (... i don't know where she gets that from?!!)... at times moody... and a good barometer when it comes to judging people (though i've tried to teach her not to judge). she has loved me unconditionally, and is the dearest friend to my heart (and probably the longest and most successful relationship i've ever had!). hanna has become unwell, and after blood tests last week, was diagnosed with severe kidney failure and a urinary tract infection. her kidneys functioning at only 10 percent their normal capacity. the signs began to show with her declining appetite, increased water intake and urination, and lots of sleeping. she's doing her best each and every day, as she endures my administering a compounded antibiotic to her to help fight the urinary tract infection. not being able to take pills, i have to position her in a way that I can open her jaw and, with an eye-dropper, get the 3-fish flavored fluid medicine down her throat successfully. she has been quite patient with the process. despite her body slowing down, she follows me everywhere, speaks to me often, though her voice had become weak... and is happiest whenever she can curl up on my lap and just be... together. it's a difficult and emotionally painful time right now, my wanting to do whatever possible to make her comfortable, but knowing that i can only do so much... and that nature will ultimately win. in the remaining time though, i enjoy her vivid personality and remind her endlessly of how much i love her and what joy she brings to my heart. i leave it to my prayers being answered that she will find comfort in our remaining time together, and that peace will find her when it is time, without her having to suffer. hanna is my heart... always... always.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Hanna is my heart... always... always
for those of you who know me well, you're aware of the fact that i love all creatures, great and small... and that there's one precious ball of fluff in particular who has been the nearest and dearest gift to my heart for the last almost-16 years... hanna (affectionately nicknamed hanna-banana... pun'kin, boo-kitty, milkface, pooh, whatzupbuttercup, monkey, my beautiful girl, bumble... and, when she's sharpening her teeth, hanna-ble) is joy to my heart each and every day. sticking with me through all the ups and downs that life brings... greeting me each morning at my pillow... primping at the mirror (she enjoys playing"dress up" when I get ready for work each day... feeling quite special when I sweep some "pretend blush" to her cheeks with my big powder brush!), waiting for me at the front door when i return home at the end of each day, always eager to tell me about her day. we came upon one another when she was only a couple of weeks old, sitting in a cage at a pet store, hoping to be adopted. i had just had my wisdom teeth pulled and was on my first trip out of the house, on an errand to pick up food for my boyfriend's cat. there at the front door of the pet store was hanna, her tiny tabby body adorned with an enormous tiara of ears too big for her head. her precious little self caught my eye and i asked to have her taken out of the cage so i could hold her... she fit in the palm of my hand... and began talking up a storm. she didn't have to say much to convince me to take her home that day. we bonded immediately. i noticed that she kept sneezing and thought perhaps she was having a reaction to my perfume. despite her sniffles, within minutes i was completing the necessary papers to adopt her and took her to the animal clinic in town to have her examined. the vet, whom i did not know, told me that the sneezing was due to her having feline flu and recommended that i have her put to sleep. i told him that that was not an option, and asked what could be done to treat her? this resulted in her being quarantined for six weeks in one of the bedrooms in the townhouse my boyfriend and i had recently purchased. it was necessary to keep her away from the other cat in the house to avoid spreading her ailment. i made her a nest out of a pile of blankets in the corner of the spare bedroom and hanna slept there under a heat lamp snuggled up in an array of stuffed animals... and when i returned home at the end of each day, i would lay down beside her for the night. i became the "mother cat" in her world from then on, and she would not accept anyone else the way she did me. as time went on, i learned that hanna had feline luekemia and a neurological disorder - epilepsy, which caused her to have seizures. despite her serious illnesses she has stayed strong through all of these years, never complaining... always appreciating the love she has been shown... and giving it in return, unconditionally. hanna and i have shared seven different dwellings over the years, not to mention sleeping in my volkswagon jetta when we parked across the street in an open dirt lot after the '94 california earthquake split my Stevenson Ranch townhouse in two and we were stranded from the rest of the world for two weeks! she is a rapid conversationalist, with different voices to match her changing mood. a somewhat opinionated gal (... i don't know where she gets that from?!!)... at times moody... and a good barometer when it comes to judging people (though i've tried to teach her not to judge). she has loved me unconditionally, and is the dearest friend to my heart (and probably the longest and most successful relationship i've ever had!). hanna has become unwell, and after blood tests last week, was diagnosed with severe kidney failure and a urinary tract infection. her kidneys functioning at only 10 percent their normal capacity. the signs began to show with her declining appetite, increased water intake and urination, and lots of sleeping. she's doing her best each and every day, as she endures my administering a compounded antibiotic to her to help fight the urinary tract infection. not being able to take pills, i have to position her in a way that I can open her jaw and, with an eye-dropper, get the 3-fish flavored fluid medicine down her throat successfully. she has been quite patient with the process. despite her body slowing down, she follows me everywhere, speaks to me often, though her voice had become weak... and is happiest whenever she can curl up on my lap and just be... together. it's a difficult and emotionally painful time right now, my wanting to do whatever possible to make her comfortable, but knowing that i can only do so much... and that nature will ultimately win. in the remaining time though, i enjoy her vivid personality and remind her endlessly of how much i love her and what joy she brings to my heart. i leave it to my prayers being answered that she will find comfort in our remaining time together, and that peace will find her when it is time, without her having to suffer. hanna is my heart... always... always.
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